We’re Halfway There

Hello, welcome back to my blog this week and I hope you have had a good week. This week has been a long week, as always, and I have a lot to tell you. So let’s get started…

I’ve finally got through half of my radiotherapy appointments. For those that are new; I’m on 30 days of Radiotherapy (or 6 weeks) with weekends off. And I still don’t like it but I’m getting a bit more used to it. I know it’s helping to save me (for longer) so I’m going through with it. So I bet you’re wondering what happened in my long, Wednesday, appointment. Nothing much, the consultant said my bloods, which I had taken on Tuesday, which will be weekly for as long as I’m on chemotherapy tablets, were fine and I need an MRI scan for further planning of the last 2 weeks of Radiotherapy. They say that things shouldn’t have changed much and the tumour won’t have shrunk because they’ve not been radiating long enough, but this ensures they get rid of what they can from where most the tumour was removed. This MRI scan is on Monday, early morning before my radiotherapy. Finally, they said if I wanted a big chat they’ll do it. But I think I’ll pass, they need to stop thinking about time periods and focus on the task in hand. I know my outcome so I don’t need people guessing or betting when that will happen. Also, before that meeting, in the waiting room, I met a really nice man, also battling a brain tumour. He is one day ahead of me in his treatment and has been following my journey. All I can say is he inspired me. We both know our outcomes but we won’t let it define us or show fear.

Right, the other stuff; because I don’t just have cancer. I went to college on Tuesday for an induction day, that was fun. I dozed off a couple of times, this was after treatment, but I do love college. I start on Monday, with a study day, and that means I’m not in college and have no scheduled lessons. I will be doing work after my appointments in the morning. I’ve got History coursework to do and Business study notes to take. I, also, got my timetable on Friday. I am confused during a pandemic why I have a 3 hours break and other 2 hour breaks in my timetable. There’s no social spaces, so what can you actually do in that time? And for the first 3 weeks, during radiotherapy, I will not be able to attend many lessons which is very annoying. The only whole afternoon in college is on a Wednesday. Like any day except Wednesday would be perfect. But I can’t complain. It’s only 3 weeks and I am grateful for my education. I will, and make sure I will, do well.

I’ve, also, been on 2 runs this week. Wednesday and Saturday. It was more walking and intervals but I still ran and I feel happier for it. I’m glad I do as well because at the moment I am struggling mentally. It’s just a emotionally confusing situation: I am feeling great yet I know I’m very unwell inside and I’m dying. That’s why I show my love so openly because no one knows how long they have left. I feel like a ticking time bomb and I’m grieving for my own death. Its really tough. But I’m not defined by this and like I always say inoperable does not mean incurable.

Thank you so much for reading this week’s blog post and I hope you have a good week. Please subscribe to the blog and feel free to share this blog. Thank you so much.

2 thoughts on “We’re Halfway There

  1. College is full of annoying gaps. My eldest used to head home in between and then panic when the bus didn’t turn up to go back. Guess who was taxi service?! Glad to hear you managed a run. Must have felt good too! And you’re an inspiration to someone. I bet there’s a bunch of people who think you’re an inspiration. I certainly do. I love your spirit! Keep going and here’s to another run for you!

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    1. Thank you so much. The whole college timetable thing is that they said we would have all our lessons close to each other to minimise the spread and time on campus.

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