Hello, welcome back to my blog this week and I hope you have had a good week. This week I have packed a lot in so let’s get started.
So my appointments this week. We’ll start off on Monday, I had 2 appointments, and it was an early start – 8:30. I had an MRI scan which lasted around 10 minutes, as they only took one set of images for radiotherapy planning, and the appointment took about an hour due to waiting for machines and being able to go (you have to wait for 15 minutes after having the contrast dye). Then it was off to radiotherapy. Tuesday and Wednesday was another double appointment, Tuesday being bloods- checking if they’re strong and can cope with the chemotherapy – and Radiotherapy. Wednesday was the clinical review and radiotherapy as usual. The Doctor saw me before the treatment on Wednesday and said that my bloods were strong, nothing has ‘dramatically changed’ on the MRI scan and they’re planning for phase 2 of Radiotherapy. Nothing changing is a good thing and I know people think it isn’t but they can’t shrink the tumour, they can just stop the growth. So no change is good. Thursday and Friday it was just radiotherapy. On Friday I was also told I get Monday and Tuesday off so they can plan my radiotherapy accurately which is always nice knowing it will be planned properly and I get a rest.
Also on Thursday Friday, I got into college. I was so tired but when you have treatment you’re bound to be. But my method seems to be working. Treatment, 40 minutes sleep, eat and then go to college. It’s good to be back. It’s funny, all the teachers don’t expect to see me but what’s the point in doing nothing when I’ve got college? I love it, seeing friends and the social interaction.
And finally, how am I feeling? The question everyone seems to be asking. I’ll be honest, I don’t really know. Sometimes I feel good but remember the situation and that knocks me and other times I wake up feeling awful but I just seem to accept it. When you aren’t sleeping well you will feel awful and combine that with chemotherapy and radiotherapy, tiredness just takes over. I’ve managed to do more physio this week which is good but it’s hard to think good when you know you’re dying. I don’t like people reminding me my condition is terminal and I should let people know the extent because we know. All I don’t like and a constant thought I keep having is will people remember me forever because I am only young and my friends and brothers have around 80 years left and they will grow old. I want to be remembered, not forgotten because I love them and I will never forget them.
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