I’ll take it

After reflecting back on Friday’s appointment my initial reaction has changed. Yes, initially my reaction was ‘good’ because my bloods are good and my symptoms haven’t worsened. But now my thoughts have changed, I keep remembering what was said, and now I feel like a trial, a ‘Guinea pig’ you could say. The drugs that I’m given to take might not work because there’s no evidence they work on young people or on my type of tumour, with methylated cells. But I live in hope, I believe these tablets will work and belief is what carries people through. Truth is, I am a little concerned for when standardised treatment stops in six to twelve months because I don’t know what will happen after I finish it.

On the positive side, I am neurologically sound, as I like to say, and I’m able to read again. My eyes have seemed to improve so much this week. I went from struggling with concentration and tired eyes to finishing and starting new books. I hope this is a sign of things to come.

In other news, I actually managed to get a C/D on a business studies exam I missed most the content for. It might look like a low mark but getting full marks on some questions and picking a few marks up here or there is an achievement to me. I am pleased with how I’m doing with my work, it may not be the grades I was getting but they’re grades that I can get without studying and I still have time to study. Why give up now?

To finish the blog post off, I would like to say, although, things don’t look good, I will make the most of it and I will take the tablets because I believe they can work. I’m still not scared, just worried about the future and what lays ahead but as long as I feel good, I will run, and do what I can. We should all tell who we love that we love them and love and cherish every moment of our precious life.

2 thoughts on “I’ll take it

  1. Matthew thats such a positive outlook you have. I wish you go from strength to strength. Anxiety can spring on me for no apparent reason & I tell myself why are you worrying about things you have no control over? Then I think of you & your positivity inspires me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I broke my arm being silly at the gym two weeks ago, i’m doing the best i can but feel so sorry for myself.
    Then I read your blog………. Enough said. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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