Until chemotherapy

Little improvements are happening. I’m managing to balance better and I’ve managed to run 2k in 15 minutes. Things are looking up. The problem is; I’m back on Chemotherapy the Friday approaching. Sometimes you think to yourself ‘why do I do it?’ because in the end, when you go back on chemotherapy, the strength quickly declines. So why do I do it? To keep some strength, I don’t want to lose it all, building strength is a long term gain. You’re fitter overall, even if you’ve lost most of it due to something, like chemotherapy. I feel it improves my chance of survival, you’re not going to win a battle without strength. I feel the belief and strength overrides fear and weakness. I’m prepared to go through a lot to keep my life. That’s why I’ve set a long term aim: graduate university. It doesn’t look possible but I’ll make it possible.

This week I published ‘Matthew’ s Story’, my cancer story, online. If you’ve not seen it, you can watch it here. I would like to take a moment to thank you all for your support, I e had lovely messages. Talking about lovely messages, I shared my story on What The Fartlek podcast this week, you can listen here. Thank you all so much for your nice messages of support and creating a hashtag (#bemorematthew). Words don’t express how grateful I am. Thank you all so much for your support.

Finally, people ask me how I’m so brave and positive. I’m not brave. Honestly I’m really uncertain about my future and I do have a lot of support for my mental health. But I am positive, I’ve been going to a cancer hospital for as long as I remember, I trust them. Cancer may be cruel and many expletives but I’m determined. I’m not scared, sometimes things happen for a reason and we’ve got to show our strength. I’m sad, yes, that I won’t get to live a long life and create a family. I’m not scared of the disease, I’m scared of being forgotten. I blog so I can make a change and help others. I blog for a purpose in life. After reading this ask yourself what your purpose in life is. Stop hiding and live life how you should be living it.

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