Love and Cancer

It’s hard to still feel like your loved when you have cancer. Although you know people care about you, you still feel alone, like you’re the only one and that nobody understands or loved you. It’s difficult because as much as your loved ones give you love, it never feels like they do because they don’t understand. No one understands how people living with cancer feel. I can give a general answer but you still wouldn’t understand. Cancer makes you feel alone, isolated and like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. It’s constantly on your mind and it won’t go away, I’ve even started having dreams where it’s just normal for me to talk about and have cancer. You can’t escape it. You can’t escape it at all.

I thought I’d talk about love this week as today, Sunday 14th February 2021, is Valentine’s Day. Have I got a Valentine? No. This is where I want yo pick up on. I’m moving to university in September and I’m scared no one will love me or even be my friend. I understand it might sound stupid but I can’t see any reason why someone would befriend a dying person. I struggle with this thought because I know university is a place where close friends and sometimes partners for life are made. And what’s my life? 10 years if I’m really lucky. I do worry about this. Also, shall I hide the awful fact? Tell them when they’re ready? They might just run off because they don’t want a dying friend. It’s a really hard thought.

This week I’m going to briefly go over my fitness. My program is going well, I’m feeling strong and I managed to run for around 20 minutes rather than 15, which is an improvement I can live with. My exercise bike is really helping my cardiovascular system and I can feel it. That was my fitness. I want to finish on the note: Even if you don’t feel loved you are loved by many. You might be alone today but better times will come.

Thank you so much for reading. Please feel free to subscribe and like this post so we can reach and help more people. You can find me at Running Through Cancer on all social media platforms and my inbox is always open.

4 thoughts on “Love and Cancer

  1. You are loved more than you could ever know. You are our first grandchild (yes quickly followed by Alex), you were the first great grandchild to both my mam and dad and grandas mam and dad.
    You were the first nephew for Graeme and Marie.
    You have always shown how much you love others and you deserve the biggest valentine’s card in the world x
    Love you to the moon and back xxxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You are loved by all of us and I’m sure you will soon make new friends at Uni. You are still the same person you have always been. Love Granda xx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi Matthew, bit late on this weeks blog. As you said, nobody knows exactly how you’re feeling and this must make you feel really alone at times.
    A lot of your fears and apprehensions are totally normal of someone heading to University but you also have the added complications of cancer.
    None of us know what the future holds. You’re a very strong, level headed young man. Embrace university knowing that everyone there will have fears of making friends and being welcomed

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Matthew, I discovered your story yesterday on YouTube, Poet with Pace. I have to say how much your story has touched me. I lost my dad to a similar type of cancer
    19 years ago. And looking at you and hearing what you’ve been through makes you truly a brave soul and you’re stronger than you think. You’re helping people just by being here and talking about your extraordinary journey. Thank you for sharing it. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend. God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

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