Do you know how hard it is to sit in a consultants room and everyone tell you it’s good news? It’s a lot harder than you think, especially when the scan results had to be closely look like to detect “progression ‘, which there wasn’t. When the dynamic verb ‘changed’ is used it’s hard not to think that maybe it isn’t as good as its made out to be. Two things could’ve happened, the tumour could have adapted to the chemotherapy or the tumour is positively reacting to the chemotherapy. It’s hard to think that but that’s the way I think now, I am positive but I’m also realistic. You always expect the worst and think of ways to combat it rather than expecting good news. In addition, as it was checked by the top Neurological board, that may not be a good sign. But still I go on.I still pray every day, praying for a better future and it does bring peace. However, sometimes you feel like your prayers are unanswered and there’s no hope, although most of the time I believe there is.
I started what could be my penultimate round of chemotherapy this week. I am hoping the tumour is responding well to it and it’s extended a bit longer. Although it makes you feel awful, it’s nice to know something is being done. Also, if and when there is progression we need to hope there’s a trial, that doesn’t exclude brain cancers, comes up. My doctor said I am lucky that I could qualify for both adult and paediatric trial and that he’d be willing to send me far away for a trial. I know how rare these are and especially for an unknown tumour that the top in the field are baffled about, but I hope that trials do come up, that I’m eligible for, because I want a chance. But if I don’t get one at least I can help all my followers and other people affected by cancer.
So, the next bit of my title. I’ve finished my 8 week Move, exercise, programme. I have written a blog post about this that will be published on the charities website so I’ll keep it brief. On Day 1, I wasn’t really managing to walk for half an hour to college, after the programme, I can now run 2k without stopping, cycle 10 miles and balance much better than I used to be able to. I feel a lot stronger and the benefits I have gained far surpass my expectations. I’m impressed, I really am.
People with cancer struggle but don’t really show it, we are aware other people have things that are problematic to them. So respect everyone. I sometimes break down and it’s healthy to do so. Everyone has a mental health and crying can really help you get the bad feeling from your ‘bottle’. Respect everyone and look after yourself and if anyone is struggling, it’s OK to offer a helping hand.
Thank you for reading this weeks blog post, feel free to subscribe and like this post and leave a comment about how you’re going to look after your mental health this week. Thank you so much and please share this so we can help more people.