Hitting a crossroad

After the appointment on Friday, I’ve hit a bit of a crossroad and need to make a decision regarding my treatment. I’m finding this hard as the decisions have been pretty much made for me up to now, yes I signed for the treatments but surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy are an easy decision. If someone offers you a lifeline, you’re going to take it. So it’s been pretty simple to decide up to now but now I’ve been given options.

I’m about to finish my 6 cycles of Temozolomide, chemotherapy, next weekend. After this, there’s nothing until the tumour progresses offered by the NHS. so I now have to decide: do I extend the chemotherapy for longer? Do I stop the treatment? Or do I look elsewhere? There’s arguments for all 3 options and that’s what makes it a bit difficult. I’m deciding my life. How long I live is down to this.

So, carrying on with chemotherapy: So the argument is that I feel fine on the chemotherapy and this means I could continue taking it with no problem. My doctor is also saying he will prescribe it if I want more. And he’s not saying don’t take it, it’s up to me. But against this, no one knows if it’s doing anything to the tumour at all but my last two scans have shown no growth. Is that what it’s doing? Stopping the growth? Also against taking it is the travel, appointments and bloods involved. Do I want to waste my life there? These are all thoughts.

Let’s move on to other options. The main advantage is that they could work. However, there’s no evidence to back any of these treatments and they cost a fortune. That makes me think, is it just business people preying on the vulnerable? Which is what I am, unfortunately.

I’m a bit stuck at the minute but I have 5 weeks to decide what I’m doing. No matter what I pick, I’ll keep exercising and that could be a good thing.

Overall, no matter the decision, although I’m worried it might be wrong, I’m going to keep smiling and keep pushing. I just need to stay strong and hope for a miracle.

Thank you so much for reading this blog post, please feel free to share this so we can help more people with similar conditions.

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