It’s so hard, I keep getter rejected and that just impacts my confidence but I’m still applying. I know rejection is normal but I’ve written up my CV three times and I’m wondering if it’s just me. I don’t need a job but it would be nice to have something to do to pass the time; it’s so hard to fins experience when all the jobs want experience. Sometimes I think it’s because the first search on Google for ‘Matthew Pullan’ is an article about me having a brain tumour but I’m proud to have that, I’m proud to have it shared because this is me and I’m proud of myself.
I’m not going to sit here and complain though because I know eventually I will find a job. I have belief and without belief nothing will ever happen. I know I’m strong, it’s just hard to work around the main thing people see. Cancer. As you can tell, I’m still strong enough, maybe not for bar work, but I’m strong and I keep going.
One of my principles in life now is to keep going and pushing yourself. For example, before this I’d never written a blog and now I do it weekly, I’d also never filmed for YouTube and now I can do it, and I’ve also been told it’s good quality and finally, I keep running and pushing my physical ability. Pushing my physical ability is hard as I could used to run 5k faster than I can now run 2 miles, which us quite demoralising but I do accept I’m still building and probably not get that fit again.
A lot of things have become harder, for example, I can’t walk and text and I can only just play football. I used to play for a team and my school, now I move too slow, and struggle to keep myself on my feet. Bug I’m happy and accepting, things are different now and I’ll do my best to enjoy life without getting disheartened because life’s not the same for everyone and this is normal now.
My normal has changed but since cancer I’ve learned how to love more, be happier and how to accept. I’m big for ideas to help move cancer treatment forward and I love to help others. Which you can also do by completing the #33forthe33 challenge, you can find the link at www.justgiving.com/33forthe33