Fed up.

I’m fed up. I’m tired; I want to be able to be independent like someone who should be going to university should be. I’m struggling with the help needed because I want to do it myself.  I might not be but I still feel able and I’m going to push myself to do what I’m able to do. I’m feeling a little better than last week so that’s an improvement but I’m still using a wheelchair and getting assisted with my walking but that is mainly because I’m so tired and would just tip due to tiredness. I’m just fed up. I want to be able to do what I want instead of feeling bad everyone is waiting on me. I’m also fed up of people. The people that don’t ask you how you are but asks the person with you how you are. I’m still a person, You can ask me.

I’ve been having friends and family around. Although tiring, I’ve loved it. I’m seeing people I’ve not seen in ages but there’s always a downer on things, like I know why they’re here… I’m ill, Yet I don’t feel ill.

This week has been tiring but I’m now over halfway on radiotherapy and ready to get through it. I’ve learned a lot, who my proper friends are, what I can do and how to keep pushing forward. I’m not scared, just fed up.

Thank you all so much for the football shirts, 11 o’clock everyday is the postman and it always makes my day. Thank you so much. I have also just published my second poetry anthology, War Time Writings, I’m so happy how it came out. You can buy it here.

2 thoughts on “Fed up.

  1. Keep going Matthew. Small daily wins to get through each day & to enable you to look forward to the next day. The football shirts are a fantastic diversion! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Our/your postman is called Darrell & he’s fantastic. He’s such a bright & cheerful man. I buy him sweets as he doesn’t like chocolate! Can you believe that??!! I just thought I would share this information with you. Keep going Matthew, you have lots of friends who are so behind you & love you for who you are! 👍🏻🤞🏻❤

    Liked by 1 person

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